| Monday, April 28, 2008 |
| An uncle by any other name... |
While we all know that familial relationships can be ... well ... complicated, the Chinese take it to a whole other level. Last week I was having this conversation with a Chinese friend of mine:
Me: So my brother had a baby boy. How do you say "uncle" in Chinese?
Friend: Is your brother older or younger than you?
Me: Older.
Friend: Hmm ... I'm not sure.
Me: You don't know the word for "uncle" in Chinese?
Friend: Of course I do.
Me: Then what is it?
Friend: Well, I can't remember.
Me: (bewildered look of silence)
Friend: You see, my father does not have any younger brothers, so I'm not sure which word to use.
Me: Does he have any older brothers?
Friend: Yes.
Me: What do you call them?
Friend: Bo-bo.
Me: Oh, okay. So I'm the "Bo-bo."
Friend: No.
Me: What? Why not?
Friend: You're the younger brother.
Me: And ....
Friend: You're not "Bo-bo," you're something else.
Me: But I'm the uncle.
Friend: Yes.
Me: And your uncle is "Bo-bo."
Friend: Yes.
Me: But I'm not "Bo-bo."
Friend: No.
What began as a rather circular and confusing conversation was the perfect example of one area of the Chinese language that can get rather sticky. When giving family titles such as brothers, sister, uncle, aunt, cousin, etc., Chinese has specific titles based on the relationship of that person to the rest of the family. A cousin is not called a "cousin," but rather "oldest son of the older brother on the father's side." Thankfully, they don't translate that out entirely, but rather have single syllable words that denote each distinction and are usually said twice (as in the previously mentioned "Bo-bo.") However, some of them are said just once, in case it wasn't complicated enough already.
You may be wondering: why make such a fuss? Is it really necessary to distinguish every possible aspect to each person's relationship in the family? From the American perspective, of course not. But for the Chinese, this linguistic complication is at the core of who they are.
In the west, and especially in America, we are classified as "individualists." While this may have the negative connotation of being selfish and self-centered, in reality it just means that we believe that maturity and growth results in being independent. The goal of most western parents is to raise their child in such a way that they can function in society on their own.
Here in the east, especially in China, people are classified as "collectivists." While this may have the negative connotation of limiting free thought and producing cookie-cutter societies, in reality it just means that they believe that maturity and growth results in taking care of your group while your group takes care of you. The goal of most eastern parents is to raise their child in such a way that they can use the group around them to both give and receive the support they need to function.
Families, therefore, are defined by relation. It's not enough to know that someone is a brother or sister, aunt or uncle. Because life revolves around not who YOU are, but who your GROUP is, these specific distinctions are critical. You are not just a cousin. You are your the oldest son of the oldest brother on your father's side.
To put it another way - eastern and western people would give two different answers to the question: Who are you? A western would point to themselves and say, "me." An easterner would grab their closest friends, put their arms around each other, and say, "we."
So with my family in mind, I thought it would be best to make a handy guide for my family names - in relation to Ellie. Because they are as complicated as they are, there are likely some mistakes, but I've done the best I can.
Wheelers
Randy (grandfather) - Ye Ye (pronounced "yeh yeh")
Chris (grandmother) - Nai Nai ("n-eye n-eye")
Josh (uncle) - Bo Bo ("bwah bwah")
Kirsten (aunt) - Shen ("shen")
Ashley (aunt) - Gu ("goo")
Caleb (cousin) - Tang Di ("tong dee")
Dueppens
Dan (grandfather) - Lao Ye ("laow yeh")
Karen (grandmother) - Lao Lao ("laow laow")
Peter (uncle) - Jiu Jiu ("jee-0 jee-0")
Mikala (aunt) - Yi ("yee")
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posted by Aaron @ 4:13 AM  |
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